Art and What it Means to me

Art is something I turned to when I needed something to help calm me down or needed an escape from something. I liked watching colors blend together and making different patterns and colors. To be completely honest, my landscapes still need work, but that’s why you practice. Art has kept my mind at peace when life gets chaotic. It is one of the several self-care techniques I use to help myself zen.

Something I learned…

Something I learned today was, I don’t want to be the adult that when asked what I would do if I went back and started over in life in regards to a career, that I would change what I wanted. I want to follow my dreams. I don’t want to have regrets. I want to do everything that I wanted to do. Follow the paths that I want to follow. Live life to the fullest and live like there may not be a tomorrow.

Some days..

There are some days that I don’t want to do anything anymore. There are days where people’s attitudes are too much for me. There are days where everything being said to me makes me cry. There are days where I don’t know if I can take much more. How can I keep going? How can I keep putting up with it? How much more am I willing to take?

Your dreams

I fully believe you should follow your dreams no matter what people say. Especially if your family or someone you love is against it or not supporting it or you feel like you have to hide your true self. Do it anyway. Even if you don’t tell them about it. Follow what you’re passionate about.

I’m bad about following my own advice. I am a people pleaser but I need to start putting myself first. If I’m not even pleasing myself, how can I please others?

No matter if someone is calling me lazy, or that I’m not doing enough and I need to get a traditional job. There are things that I can do to to make myself happy and sometimes that is not following what they are telling me to do. Put yourself first.

Books

I get very into books. I immerse myself within them. Become the characters. Live their lives. Empathize with them. Cry over them. Get very angry over things that aren’t real. I love to escape my own reality. However sometimes authors drive me crazy. I know their entire job is to twist the plot and make it so you can’t see what’s coming but sometimes all I want is a happy ending. What’s even worse is when you are reading and going through the series and then realize the last book in the series doesn’t come out for another 9 months and the author left you on a giant, and I mean massive cliff hanger. I just want to know what’s next but now I have to wait. For my book readers – SPOILER ALERT. She killed off the love of his life for 2 books and then brought her back at the end of the 4th book when he was finally getting ready to move on after 16 years. I am so upset about this. These books had me laughing hysterically and then crying. I can’t wait till may when I can read it and find out what the hell happened.

Saftey

So I thought these guys were following me because they were pumping gas near me and I looked up cuz the bell on the door rung and me being the curious critter I am I looked up and this guy was looking directly at me. Then I finished pumping gas and closed the door on the hole and looked up in peripheral vision and saw them both staring at me and then I put mom’s wallet away and buckled my seat belt and out of the corner of my eye they were both staring at me. Not even being subtle about it. So I didn’t stop at stop signs and left. I was halfway down the street when I saw them hit the neighborhood so I floored it and was going way too fast in our neighborhood to get away from them didn’t see them when I needed to turn so I turned and still didn’t see them so I hit the driveway at and floored it up the driveway. I was terrified.

Not to admit to speeding which I very very rarely do.

Why is this something we have to worry about? Why do we have to be scared? Why can’t people just be good people? Not to say that they were following me. They could have just lived in the same neighborhood who knows. No one should have to feel that scared though. It just sucks. I just want to feel at peace with where I am without having to worry about someone following me for one reason or another. Or anyone else for that matter. Be kind and stay safe y’all.