Some days..

There are some days that I don’t want to do anything anymore. There are days where people’s attitudes are too much for me. There are days where everything being said to me makes me cry. There are days where I don’t know if I can take much more. How can I keep going? How can I keep putting up with it? How much more am I willing to take?

Your dreams

I fully believe you should follow your dreams no matter what people say. Especially if your family or someone you love is against it or not supporting it or you feel like you have to hide your true self. Do it anyway. Even if you don’t tell them about it. Follow what you’re passionate about.

I’m bad about following my own advice. I am a people pleaser but I need to start putting myself first. If I’m not even pleasing myself, how can I please others?

No matter if someone is calling me lazy, or that I’m not doing enough and I need to get a traditional job. There are things that I can do to to make myself happy and sometimes that is not following what they are telling me to do. Put yourself first.

Books

I get very into books. I immerse myself within them. Become the characters. Live their lives. Empathize with them. Cry over them. Get very angry over things that aren’t real. I love to escape my own reality. However sometimes authors drive me crazy. I know their entire job is to twist the plot and make it so you can’t see what’s coming but sometimes all I want is a happy ending. What’s even worse is when you are reading and going through the series and then realize the last book in the series doesn’t come out for another 9 months and the author left you on a giant, and I mean massive cliff hanger. I just want to know what’s next but now I have to wait. For my book readers – SPOILER ALERT. She killed off the love of his life for 2 books and then brought her back at the end of the 4th book when he was finally getting ready to move on after 16 years. I am so upset about this. These books had me laughing hysterically and then crying. I can’t wait till may when I can read it and find out what the hell happened.

Saftey

So I thought these guys were following me because they were pumping gas near me and I looked up cuz the bell on the door rung and me being the curious critter I am I looked up and this guy was looking directly at me. Then I finished pumping gas and closed the door on the hole and looked up in peripheral vision and saw them both staring at me and then I put mom’s wallet away and buckled my seat belt and out of the corner of my eye they were both staring at me. Not even being subtle about it. So I didn’t stop at stop signs and left. I was halfway down the street when I saw them hit the neighborhood so I floored it and was going way too fast in our neighborhood to get away from them didn’t see them when I needed to turn so I turned and still didn’t see them so I hit the driveway at and floored it up the driveway. I was terrified.

Not to admit to speeding which I very very rarely do.

Why is this something we have to worry about? Why do we have to be scared? Why can’t people just be good people? Not to say that they were following me. They could have just lived in the same neighborhood who knows. No one should have to feel that scared though. It just sucks. I just want to feel at peace with where I am without having to worry about someone following me for one reason or another. Or anyone else for that matter. Be kind and stay safe y’all.

My path

What is my path? Only God knows. I need to trust in his plan. Pray bout the opportunities I have been given. Pray for direction. Pray that he’s got me which he always does.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Where I want to be in life is not possible right now. I have not reached the point where I can do it. I will not give up on my dreams though. I will find a way to succeed in the life I want to live. Let’s be motivated together. Have patience where things will happen when they should.

Jobs

There are tons of places hiring and I don’t want to work at any of them. while I was working I didn’t have time to do the things I wanted to do or spend time with my animals or friends. How does one go to work and come home and repeat that everyday for their entire lives. We shouldn’t have to live like that. We should be able to live how we want to live. Do what we want to do. Spend our time how we want to. Do the things we love. All those things and our friends and family should not be on the back burner to work. Work/life balance is hard. How do you handle it?