Saftey

So I thought these guys were following me because they were pumping gas near me and I looked up cuz the bell on the door rung and me being the curious critter I am I looked up and this guy was looking directly at me. Then I finished pumping gas and closed the door on the hole and looked up in peripheral vision and saw them both staring at me and then I put mom’s wallet away and buckled my seat belt and out of the corner of my eye they were both staring at me. Not even being subtle about it. So I didn’t stop at stop signs and left. I was halfway down the street when I saw them hit the neighborhood so I floored it and was going way too fast in our neighborhood to get away from them didn’t see them when I needed to turn so I turned and still didn’t see them so I hit the driveway at and floored it up the driveway. I was terrified.

Not to admit to speeding which I very very rarely do.

Why is this something we have to worry about? Why do we have to be scared? Why can’t people just be good people? Not to say that they were following me. They could have just lived in the same neighborhood who knows. No one should have to feel that scared though. It just sucks. I just want to feel at peace with where I am without having to worry about someone following me for one reason or another. Or anyone else for that matter. Be kind and stay safe y’all.

My path

What is my path? Only God knows. I need to trust in his plan. Pray bout the opportunities I have been given. Pray for direction. Pray that he’s got me which he always does.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Where I want to be in life is not possible right now. I have not reached the point where I can do it. I will not give up on my dreams though. I will find a way to succeed in the life I want to live. Let’s be motivated together. Have patience where things will happen when they should.

Jobs

There are tons of places hiring and I don’t want to work at any of them. while I was working I didn’t have time to do the things I wanted to do or spend time with my animals or friends. How does one go to work and come home and repeat that everyday for their entire lives. We shouldn’t have to live like that. We should be able to live how we want to live. Do what we want to do. Spend our time how we want to. Do the things we love. All those things and our friends and family should not be on the back burner to work. Work/life balance is hard. How do you handle it?

Life

I quit my job and I’m supposed to be looking for a new job. I don’t really want a new job. I hate being stuck in the 9-5 daily life.you have no time for you. No time for self care. No time to do the things you love or that your passionate about. No time for friends and family because let’s be honest. By the end of the day you’re too exhausted to do anything but eat then go to sleep. How can you do the things you want to do in life and still be able to make a living?

Leaving My Daycare Kids

Today was a hard day. I left my job at a daycare. And the kids broke my heart. They were clinging to me begging me not to leave and asking me why I had to leave and where I was going. They told me I was there favorite teacher there and they didn’t want me to go. And even kids that I thought hated me started crying because I was leaving. These kids filled my heart with love for them. The said I could come back and visit which is awesome and the kids will love that. My heart feels like all of their little hands tore it to shreds. I’m so sad to have left. It was amazing to see that I had more of an impact on these kids than I thought I did.

Has anyone else felt like this from a job? Or have some uplifting things for me.

Wishing your life away..

One thing I don’t like about life is you wish it away. Especially if you are working. You wish it was Friday so the weekend could start. Dread the Mondays and wish it was Friday again. I know I’m guilty of it. I wish it was Friday more and more. That’s 4 entire days a week that yo wish away. 16 days a month and 208 days a year. That’s the majority of the year. The problem is I don’t know how to stop. I mean I do, but that requires quitting my job and living for myself. However, everything costs money. Which gets me back on my point about how life is an endless cycle and we are not meant to live like that. But I’ll talk about that another time.

Hard days…

Some days are harder than others. We all have them even if we don’t want to admit it. Today was a hard day for me. I lost my dad May 2019 and all I could do today is think of my dad. I cried on and off most the day. I thought of what he would think of what I’m doing. How he would encourage me to do it and rock it and have confidence and when I came home and told him I didn’t pass he would sit there well that’s okay you will get it next time. I wish I could hear him in person but I know his spirit was talking to me telling me those things. I felt very close to him today but I also miss having him in person. I miss hugging him and him teaching me things and joking with him and racing with him and dancing in the garage together. I miss all of the memories we made. I’m sad for all the memories we will never get to make. Today was hard. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Be like the flowers

Over the past few days I’ve been watching my peony bloom and the rose bush next to it as well. Some of the peony blooms are starting to fall and the rose has already fallen. I love watching the process of the flowers. It’s a reminder that we are always growing and changing and sometimes that process may take us through deep times where we feel like part of us has changed so much it no longer exists. That’s okay. It’s what life is bout. Learn and grow just like a flower.

Working out

I’m trying to make working out a habit. It is so hard and I have failed before. I know it takes 22 days to make a habit but I think it’s different for this. How do you make working out not feel like a chore. I currently have it put in on my lunch break because I don’t have time to do it when I get home in the evenings. I’d rather have my lunch break to sit and hang out for a while since I’m always on my feet at work but I can’t seem to make time at home. Anyone have any tips?