pain – Every Day Life

Pretending

Anyone else have those days where you just have to pretend that the person you have lost is still here and that everything is fine. Then it hits you again and again that they aren’t here and your heart breaks all over again. It’s okay to have those days. Grief is a never ending process.Continue reading “Pretending”

Some days..

There are some days that I don’t want to do anything anymore. There are days where people’s attitudes are too much for me. There are days where everything being said to me makes me cry. There are days where I don’t know if I can take much more. How can I keep going? How canContinue reading “Some days..”

Leaving My Daycare Kids

Today was a hard day. I left my job at a daycare. And the kids broke my heart. They were clinging to me begging me not to leave and asking me why I had to leave and where I was going. They told me I was there favorite teacher there and they didn’t want meContinue reading “Leaving My Daycare Kids”

My Back

So, I threw out my back again. This is the second time I have done it. It hurts a lot. I read an article today that said sciatic pain feels like being in labor but the labor doesn’t stop. There is no release. I don’t have anything to compare it to because I haven’t hadContinue reading “My Back”

Busy days

One thing I already noticed but is becoming very well aware on my end. I hate the cycle that is a job. Don’t get me wrong. I really like my job and working with the kids. However, I hate the cycle of needing money, never having enough, and it monopolizing all of your time whereContinue reading “Busy days”

Care

When you are caring for someone. Especially an elderly stubborn person who has broken their arm. It is quite exhausting. There is a lot of repeating directions, making sure they are safe even though you know they aren’t but they refuse to go to a rehab place. It’s so exhausting. I’m grateful for the timeContinue reading “Care”

Today’s a hard day

In May, I lost my dad. Today is his birthday and all I can think about it how much I wish he was still here. I wish he was teaching me what he knew, dancing to music with me, laughing with me, and hugging me goodnight. I miss him so bad and it hurts everyday.Continue reading “Today’s a hard day”

Limits

I know my limits. I know when I should stop. I tend to not make the best decisions though. I have a weak back. I cannot tax it too much without it hurting and I can’t lift heavy things with out making my disk bulge. Anyway, yesterday I decided to pull up all 30 ofContinue reading “Limits”